For many years I let the giant of comparison dictate my every move. I let my thoughts, my emotions, how I dressed, what I posted, who I was friends with - you name it, and in some way I can guarantee comparison had niggled it’s way in.
The thing about comparison is that it doesn’t just leave it’s victims feeling insecure and unworthy, it lets fear, shame, and a whole lotta anxiety have one massive party in our hearts and minds. Which I know we’d all agree, isn’t cool and definitely isn’t God’s best for us.
The reason I can say this is that I was one of these victims (and honestly - I still am sometimes). I know the word ‘victim' might be a bit of a strong one - comparison can sometimes also be as much a choice as anything else, and we certainly ALL know what it feels like to choose to compare rather than REST in who we truly are. I say victim because I strongly believe that comparison is one of the enemy’s biggest weapons to kill and destroy who we are (esp. as women!) - especially who we are in Jesus.
The thing about being a victim is that we have a choice to move on, or to become a prisoner.. and I chose to make myself a prisoner to comparison.
2012 was a pretty rough year for me, God really opened up my heart and began to dig out all the things, and lets just say it how it is, all the SINS that were paralyzing my heart from really understanding His love for me. Fear was a big one, almost as big as his little bro comparison. You see fear and comparison really walk hand in hand. They trigger each other, they speak dirty words into your ears like, words like 'you'll never do as incredible things as that person has...'.
Comparison paralyses, it leaves us confused, fearful of the future and insecure about who we truly are.
Thoughts like this were what spiraled me out of control into one big anxious MESS (which is a much bigger story than I have words left for today - so maybe another time!). It could have been a lot worse and my anxiety struggles could have become a long loooongggg journey of overcoming (rather than just a year or so) if it hadn’t of been for how much I cried out to God in that time.
I remember being in group worship time, right at the very front, just balling out my heart, my prayers, my deep fears and my anxiety to God - which by the way, were very much rooted in the ugly sin of comparison.
The beautiful thing about Jesus is that he will never condemn us, but rather meet us where we’re at.
In that worship time that’s what He did. In my spirit I felt him standing in front of me - he told me to reach out my hands into his, and to look into his eyes. Oh those beautiful eyes! I felt I could get lost in them forever.
He said to me ‘keep your eyes on me...'
Those five little words changed my existence.. because when we fix our eyes on Him, all things fade away, and we really do feel like little silly fools for thinking that He wouldn’t create us unique, valuable and with a different story to any other person on earth! In that moment he became my ONLY measuring stick; because he is the only one worthy of our comparison. When we compare ourselves to Jesus, rather than being met with how unworthy we are we’re instead met with his incredible grace to meet us where we ARE.
It’s been a journey for me, learning to truly FIX MY EYES on Him only. I’ve had to learn to let everything go through the lens of His eyes, and although sometimes I forget and begin to compare again, he takes me aside and whispers quietly in my ear ‘keep your eyes on me..’ and my whole world crumbles once again - because I’m wrecked for anything but ALL that he has for me… and it’s become plainly clear that I can never get there when comparison is in my life.
So let His eyes be what guide you - and give comparison the boot. It’s a choice to entertain those thoughts, so instead of letting them making you prisoner, be set free to enjoy the beauty, love and light of the plans he has for you - that are unique to YOU and you alone.